being friends with you guys is the things i REGRET most in my life!

hello, i know i didnt post anything since...since..i dont even remember!! there's something i need to tell my viewers, i have attitude problems? seriously? i dont know why but it just happens my imaginary world that i didnt expect it would come real, they shove it in my face, they didnt care how i feel, they didnt want to be friends with me because of my stupid lies and attitude....c'mon tell me how many people didnt lie before to their friends?...tell me!! tell me how many people dont have attitude problem?? i've seen a question before, it asks--if i treat them as 100% truly friends, i answered not really in an honest way...and there it goes another question--do they treat you like100 % percent friends?? i answered NO either..just tell me why people FIND IT SO HARD TO FORGIVE SOMEONE THAT ADMITTED WHAT THEY DID?? i dont find how hard it is...IF you want to talk to me about those MATURE things, trust me KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!! i dont wanna listen, my heart only belong to CAMERON.hahha ..if you dont know who is that, well your way STUPID-ER than i thought!! i express my feeling here, so DONT BOSS ME AROUND!!! i'm ugly,stupid,annoying,jerkish,BITCHY,silly,but no one is the best, so can you just LIVE YOUR OWN life and dont bother each others'?? i mean like why does people HATE each other when you know the ending will be like PAINFUL?? i dont really get it why after this fight make me even BRAVER than ever..i'm BEING MYSELF, if you dont like it, it's not MY problem!! IT'S YOURS!!!! i dont wanna hurt you by saying this but i really dont understand why you have to SHOVE IT IN MY FACE????WHY DO YOU GUYS HAVE TO MAKE PEOPLE WRITE WHAT THEY FEEL ABOUT ME?? WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL FLAT ON MY FACE?? WHY DO I PRETEND NOTHING HAPPEN AND KEEP MOVING ON?? because i know you guys can do nothing but stay and be my friends that is SOMETHING THAT I CANT SHARE AND TALK TO,you guys dont know anything about me AND YOU act YOU DO!!all this time i was being me, YOU ALL DOESNT LIKE THE ORIGINAL ME? i dont care!! if this make me have no friends FOREVER i dont wanna know or care neither!! cause i'm HAPPY BEING MY SELF IN MY OWN WORLD! and never say i'm bitchy, cause you'll never KNOW THE BITCHY-NESS IF YOUR NOT ONE OF THEM!!i dont understand why people may be so childish and burst out things i didnt expect, the words really hurt me expecially "BEING A FRIEND WITH ME IS JUST A DREAM", wow, you're not a friend to be,punk! you're a trash, INVISIBLE trash that i wouldn't want to care or BOTHER!!i WILL FOREVER KEEP IT IN MY deep deep heart until i DIE!!! i may pretend nothing happen but you'll never know what my heart is thinking, my deep deep heart is A PLACE WHERE YOU DONT WANT TO GO!!! god, why does these people exist?? GET OVER IT!! IT'S JUST A MISTAKE, everyone makes one!!! no ONE is perfect, i'll remember that!!! i'll FOREVER KNOW THAT PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE JUNK IS NOTHING TO ME!! i keep my hopes high, you let it fall every time!! IF THIS IS WHAT I GET IN HAVING FRIENDS, I SHALL STOP!!!!! *felt better after this* i really dislike you guys,EVEN IF I CHANGE, there is still people who dislike me!! sop WHAT'S THE POINT?? but if i really change, i CHANGE IT FOR MYSELF, NOT for you guys!! you guys are rubbish in my heart!! see that word RUBBISH?? yea, i did wrote that!! hate me or love me it's your dessicion, i CANT HELP IT!! but i can forever know that being friends with you guys is what I REGRET MOST IN MY LIFE!!!
now move on to happy things i dont want to forever STUCK in the things i wouldn't wanna bother!!!!!!!!, cameron is just so cute, i wish i can see him and marry him and hug him ( too much)...i just love him, who cares if people think DAMIAN IS CUTER?? i dont care, i live my live and dont bother what you guys think!!!! you think i like to please you all the time?? NO!!! i dont wanna waste my time with you guys except for CAMERON..muackkkkk, i LOVE YOU!!!! remember Cameron although we cant see each other but i'm watching you from GLEE, and i'll communicate with you in my dreams!!! i'll be THERE EVERY night, for me, you're always there for me..i'm too much for Cameron, i know...BUT I DONT CARE!!!!